Monday, December 2, 2013

What people should we surround ourselves with

Average time on this planet : ~28,000 days (see foot notes)
Leave out the first 15 years : ~22,500 days
Leave out the 1/3 time we'll spend sleeping : 15,000 days

In these 15,000 days we have a choice everyday.
A choice, about what people we want to engage most ?
This decision will influence our goals, our peace of mind, and most importantly our happiness.

Always being surrounded by good people helps us :

  • Lead a genuine & conscious life
  • Create long lasting friendships
  • Connect deeply with others
  • Each meeting with them is fulfilling and filled with experiences to remember

Below is what I've learned and continue to learn.

I follow the basic rule of "remove the bad & increase the good".

Eliminations - Reduce the time you spend with these

1. Run away from pretentiousness and pretentious people.

2. People with bad habits making no attempt on improving them.

3. Impatient people - usually accompanied with curse words :) 
Their is a prayer in Aitreya Upanishad with the first line as "Vang mA Manasi Pratishthitā" - meaning let my speech be established in my mind. (See full prayer in the foot notes)

I think it's very important to use good words because unconsciously all our words do affect our mind & body.

Our biggest achievement has been to know that our mind can alter our body and our body can alter our minds.

Speak as if every sentence you utter is a wish that will be fulfilled..

5. People who are late all the time; repeat - "all the time". It's understandable that people are late some times.

But if they are late all the time then it usually means that they don't value your time and probably theirs either.

6. People who gossip or discuss a lot about other people
If they talk down or controversial about their friends or family. And won't say it to their face.

This usually shows a lack of character.

Discuss ideas or at the most news, discussing people is a waste of time, unless you are actively trying to help the person.

Additions - Spend more time with them

1. People who express original thoughts.

Not to confuse with those who throw facts around. Facts can be read freely EVERYWHERE !

Original thoughts come when facts are sought after, understood, thought out and distilled internally.

2. People who are genuinely helpful. They usually form deep relationships.

If they are pretentious or associate with pretentious people all the time then I try to avoid them.

Since mostly their helpfulness is not sincere and just a facade.

3. People who are continuously improving themselves.

Either professionally (trainings, certifications, etc..)
Or personally : reading books outside their work circle, exploring things they haven't done earlier.

These people love gathering new experiences rather than "things".
They are usually open minded and accepting of opposing thoughts and views.

As always, feel free to poke holes.
Always eager for thoughtful criticism :)

Foot notes
Mantra from Rig Veda (Aitreya Upanishad)

ॐ वाङ् मे मनसि प्रतिष्ठिता ।
मनो मे वाचि प्रतिष्ठितम् ।
आविराविर्म एधि । 
वेदस्य म आणीस्थः ।
श्रुतं मे मा प्रहासीः 
अनेनाधीतेनाहोरात्रान्सन्दधामि ।

1: Om, Let My Speech be Established in My Mind,
2: Let My Mind be Established in My Speech,
3: Let the Knowledge of the Self-Manifest Atman Grow in Me,
4: Let My Mind and Speech be the Support to Experience the Knowledge of the Vedas,
5: Let what is Heard by Me (from the Vedas) be Not a mere Appearance ...
6: ... but what is Gained by Studying Day and Night be Retained.

Time on planet earth
These are rough calculations.
Average life expectancy of Males in US = 76 years
Number of days = 76 * 365 = 27,740 = ~28,000
If you are a women, you're lucky :) you get ~1800 more days !